It’s always safer with a zipper…

I was 10 seconds and a bucket of sweat away from ripping my dress off. What a fucking nightmare. I got the thing on, so there’s got to be a way to get it off. My first attempt was to pull the dress up over my head and that failed miserably. Now let’s just try to bring it down past my ass. Haha. Nice try Shaniqua, but it’s not going to budge. Ok, now let’s get all contortionist-like. Umm. Well since I’m not very flexible that’s definitely a no go. I’m outta options here people. I started to panic a little and break out into a nervous sweat. I look into the mirror and my skin was all red from trying to maneuver the dress all around. Do I really have to get help here?! REALLY??!! I slapped myself in the face (well not really) and said, “Shannon, get yourself out of this dress NOW before you have to endure major public humiliation!” Ok this is it. The moment of truth. My last shot. In one semi swift movement I pulled the thing over my head, and omg, it came off! 15 minutes later I finally exited the dressing room. The real sad part of this story is that I went to 4 different Targets to try and find this dress in a bigger size with no such luck. I actually ended up with a different dress, and it has a side zipper. I think it’s safer that way.