My Jersey Has a "C" On It For a Reason

Why the hell isn’t Mikko Koivu the captain of the Wild? This is shit. I’m writing a letter to the coach. I want to know what the fucking criteria this coach has for picking a captain. I am not a happy camper right now. As I am watching this game I am on the prowl searching for the new captain of the team. My Koivu jersey has a C on it for a reason people. It does not have an A on it! Geesh! He’s more than an A! I wish I would have known this before watching the game. I can’t even concentrate. All I am looking at is their fucking jerseys searching for the one with the damn C on it. You know what, screw this. I’m going to just look it up on the internet. Oh, my bad. I guess the coach hasn’t picked a captain yet. It could still be Mikko! Yay! Ok, I feel a lot better now. Well, at least until the coach comes out with his pick for captain. I swear, if he doesn’t say Mikko’s name, I will get my can of whoop ass out. Do not mess with my love for Mikko people! Not cool!