It Just Wanted Some Wind Through It’s Fur!

I'm driving down the freeway when I notice the car in front of me has something hanging from underneath it. I really wish I hadn't seen it at all, because this was a major distraction. I couldn't keep my eyes off it. I just had to know what was flopping in the wind on this tiny little Honda Civic. To get a better look, and I went over to the next lane and started to speed up and get in front of it. I look in my rearview mirror and it looked like some kind of furry animal. I thought for a moment and took another look. O.M.G. I swear it was a raccoon hanging on for dear life to the undercarriage of the car! Wow. Either it was actually still alive and wanted to get some wind through it’s fur, or it somehow got impaled to the thing and just happened to look like it was hanging on. Or these people are slightly on the redneck side and put the thing there on purpose. Either way, I was perplexed at the sight of the thing all day.

No Tears, No Chills, No Goosebumps

I'm sitting here watching "Say Yes to the Dress" and I can't help but wonder if I'm the only girl in the world who didn't grow up thinking about my wedding day. When I was young I never wanted to get married and have kids. I didn't grow up thinking I was a princess either. I guess I was more of a tomboy than I thought I was! Every girl on this show tears up when they try on their first wedding dress. I can't help but laugh at them because that's a concept I don't think I will ever understand! You know how I found mine? I searched on the internet, found a fun dress and called all over the area to find one to try on. I went to try it on, and it was so me, the decision was made. Well, that was easy. There were no tears, no chills, no goosebumps. All I want is to be myself, not to conform to what others think a bride should be. I think that's how every bride should think, but we all know that's not going to happen. And it's ok, because I need shows like that to make me laugh anyways.

Mark Ballas

I was sitting there, playing my guitar when Mark Ballas comes into the room. He sat right next to me, pulled out his guitar, and we started jamming together. We kept smiling at each other and having so much fun even though he only ended up playing with me for a few minutes. He then got up, and I whispered in his ear, “I think we could be great friends.” Then he whispers back in mine, “I’m not looking for a relationship, I have a girlfriend.” Geez, Mark, I wasn’t even thinking in that direction! Although, it wouldn’t be that bad would it? Then I woke up and was like, how the hell am I dreaming of freakin Mark Ballas? I must be watching way too much Dancing With the Stars lately. Or I've been stalking him too much on Twitter. Hmm.

I Won't Pee My Pants After All!

Note to self, make sure you go pee before you play hide and seek. My niece decided she wanted play hide and seek outside, in the dark. Well, it was my fiance’s turn to be the counter and we girls had to hide somewhere. My dad has a lot of trees in his back yard so I decided to just hide behind a tree. So I spotted one and start running to it and noticed it’s a lot smaller than it seemed from far away. How the hell am I supposed to hide behind that tiny thing? I almost decided to find another tree to hide behind when all of a sudden I had to pee so bad I thought I was just going to pee my pants right then and there! I knelt down to ease the pressure and was hoping to be the first one to be seeked! Then my niece came running toward me looking for a place to hide, and we decided to run together and find another spot, when hallelujah! We were found! I won't pee my pants after all!

Oh, He's a Boy? My Bad.

If you don’t want me to mistake your son for a girl it might be a good idea to not have his hair in pig tail braids. We were celebrating Halloween at my store and I was handing out the candy to all the kids in their costumes. All of a sudden, a huge rush of little kids come up to me and I start handing the candy out. Everyone was going crazy and I had missed one kid. I called “sweetie, you forgot your candy!” Then I saw the child’s mom and was like, “she didn’t get any candy.” The mom was like “oh, well he’s a boy, he just has long hair.” Oh, he's a boy? My bad. I don’t mind if you are a boy and have long hair, but is it really necessary to put your hair in braided pigtails? You are just asking for confusion. The boy is going to look back at pictures of when he was young and ask, “why do I look like a girl mommy?” The poor boy, I know how it feels.

Bald and Gray

Do you know how much hair I lose everyday? When I take a shower I swear clumps of my hair fall out. When I brush my hair, even more comes out! Am I the only one that this is happening to? I swear I should be bald by now from the amount of hair I have lost. I’m going to be one of those unfortunate souls who has thinning hair by the age of 30. I’ll need hair club for women. What’s even worse is that I am also starting to get gray hair. Yep, I noticed the first gray strand about 6 months ago. I plucked it out, then I dyed my hair so it wasn’t an issue for awhile. But, now the dye has since faded and I have MANY gray hairs up in there. It’s to the point where I don’t even have the patience to sit there and try to find them all. I guess I’m also going to have to buy the hair dye that covers grays too. You would think I’m much older than 24 with these issues that I have. At this rate, I will probably die of natural causes by the age of 40. My life line on my palm is short for a reason I guess. *Sigh*

People of Walmart...

My friend shared this website with me a while back. It's basically people taking ridiculous looking people's pictures in Walmart and posting them and their captions for everyone to enjoy. I HIGHLY suggest you check it out, but beware, it can be very addicting so please allow yourself some time to browse...

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com

Random Facts About My Day...

-I felt like there was something stuck in both my eyes today, so I kept rubbing and picking at them.
-Gravity was not on my side, almost everything I touched ended up on the floor.
-I have had the song “Meet Me Halfway” by the BEP stuck in my head. Especially Fergie’s part.
-I’ve been singing “Head Over Feet” by Alanis Morissette.
-I am craving candy corn.
-I was pushing around a bread cart at work today and I had a flashback to the good ole times of Scooter City in elementary school.
-I am wearing Strawberry Shortcake pajamas.
-I swear I could smell weed while sitting on my couch watching TV.
-I tried to make it all the way home with my gas tank on E. After 15 miles I decided I should probably get gas.
-I’m excited that my fantasy lover Mikko helped the MN Wild actually win a game tonight.
-I don’t want to admit that I’m starting to like the song “Fireflies” by Owl City, but I kind of am.

Go Figure...

I saw an ad on a commercial for a life size Edward Cullen cardboard cut-out available at Nordstrom’s for only $30. I told my fiance about this most amazing deal, thinking he would be beyond thrilled, and hoped he would ask for it for Christmas. All I got was a dirty look. That same day he was sitting on facebook and decided to take one of those stupid quizzes. It was a “Which Twilight Character Are You?” quiz. So he took it, and guess what his result was? It said, “Bella Swan”. HAHA Go figure right? Maybe he should reconsider that cardboard cut- out after all...

I Could Go Insane at Any Moment...

I honestly can’t believe I get all the things done that I do. I work 6 days a week, totaling 48 hours, but I do leave early sometimes, so maybe minus a few hours off that. I also only get one frickin day off a week. ONE DAY. With that one day off I am usually taking pictures, because my alter ego is also a photographer. So on top of working everyday, I’m also editing pictures. Plus, I cuddle with my fiance, spend time with my family and friends, watch all my favorite TV shows on my dvr, and whatever else I can cram into a day. No wonder I started this blog, I have many opportunities to go insane at any moment. So, thank you to all my readers for being interested in my crazy/busy life, maybe one of these days you will witness a mental breakdown which will result in one hell of an interesting blog. Until then, I will continue to make me life as busy as can be, because I really don’t think I could live any other way...

Channeling My Inner Egyptian

Is it weird that I want to channel the essence of my Halloween costume and be in full character? I know some people look at Halloween as just a good excuse to dress up, which I agree, but I also like to act like the character I’m portraying. Maybe I have a knack for acting and don’t even know it. Hmm. I knew my concept was odd to others when I told them I had to go home and learn how to belly dance. They were like why? I said I was thinking about being a belly dancer for Halloween. Then, the sounds of laughter filled my ears. You know, if you’re going to put all this effort into your costume, you might as well go all out. Well, 2 weeks doesn’t seem to be enough time to learn how to belly dance to the level I would like to be at so my costume idea has since changed. Now I am Cleopatra. I have the right hair-do for it, although I was HIGHLY considering chopping off my bangs again to complete the whole look. I also thought it would be fun to do the “Walk Like an Egyptian” dance all night. Which I will be doing by the way. I wonder how she would talk? That’s something I may have to look into...I know I might be slightly insane, but at least I’m having fun with it right?

Junk Food Feast

Chips and salsa. Airheads. Salt water taffy. Mountain dew. Pizza. Those were the contents of my whole dinner last night. My friend said he wanted to pick up a bunch of junk food for dinner, but I told him I don’t really eat like that anymore. Then he got kinda bummed and when we went to pick the pizza up I decided what the hell, let’s go to the store and get some shit. Bad idea. People must have thought we were stoned off our asses and had a bad case of the munchies with all the junk we were carrying around. We left and went back home, and proceeded to consume all the sugar that we had just bought. By the end of our junk food feast I was so stuffed I couldn’t even breathe. I felt as if I was on the verge of puking, and I unbuttoned my pants for some added relief. Boy, did I ever feel disgusting. I don’t get to see my friend often but when we get together, we sure do pig out. Well, at least it was fun for the time being, I’m off to do some crunches. HA.

Festy Cheerleader?...I'll Take a Raincheck

Some people in my store should wear cheerleading outfits as their uniform. Why you ask? Because their enthusiasm for the company can get a little on the annoying side. Sure they look all cute and their actions can be admirable but after awhile all you want to do is like *slap *slap Get a hold of yourself people! Honestly, I’m really surprised we don’t have some sort of cheer we have to say before we start our shift each day. And since I know that people I work with read this, they will probably mention that idea to management, and the next thing you know is I’ll be looking like a dumb ass doing the Festy cheer just like the rest of them. One person in particular, who is a few years younger than me, strives to be the owner of the whole company someday. Wow. Everyday he is so uppity and full of Festy life, I’m like how the hell can you go about every single work day like that. It seems tiring. I am actually getting tired by thinking about it. Now this kid is what I call the Festy cheerleader, or to make him happier, how about the Festy mascot? He’s probably everything a manager would hope for in an employee, maybe I can learn a thing or two from him...wait... *slap *slap...ok, I’m back to reality now, and I’ll take a raincheck on that idea.

Fart and Quickly Walk Away?

I hate when you walk down an empty grocery aisle and it smells like someone totally ripped ass. What I hate even more is when you keep walking down that stanky aisle and someone approaches your direction. You know they are going to smell it. And you definitely know that they think you are the culprit. You even hope this person doesn't look at you and cringe in disgust. I know it's happened to every single one of you. Not cool. Just because there is no one in the aisle does not mean you can sneak one out without being noticed. They do tend to linger ya know. Sometimes I feel like someone actually shit their pants and stuffed their dirty underwear behind the cereal boxes. At least that would explain why it actually smelt like someone put one of those stink bombs in the aisle. If you really have to let one out please go to the laundry aisle with all the pretty smells. Maybe that will mask your horrid bodily odor. I think the game of "fart and quickly walk away" happens at my store more often than in others because we have alot of elderly who probably can't control that kind of bodily function. But, if you are not apart of that demographic then I say go out and get some gas-x or colonic or something because I'm sick of you stinking out the place.

My Jersey Has a "C" On It For a Reason

Why the hell isn’t Mikko Koivu the captain of the Wild? This is shit. I’m writing a letter to the coach. I want to know what the fucking criteria this coach has for picking a captain. I am not a happy camper right now. As I am watching this game I am on the prowl searching for the new captain of the team. My Koivu jersey has a C on it for a reason people. It does not have an A on it! Geesh! He’s more than an A! I wish I would have known this before watching the game. I can’t even concentrate. All I am looking at is their fucking jerseys searching for the one with the damn C on it. You know what, screw this. I’m going to just look it up on the internet. Oh, my bad. I guess the coach hasn’t picked a captain yet. It could still be Mikko! Yay! Ok, I feel a lot better now. Well, at least until the coach comes out with his pick for captain. I swear, if he doesn’t say Mikko’s name, I will get my can of whoop ass out. Do not mess with my love for Mikko people! Not cool!

I Have the Triple Threat

This might be too much information for some of you to take, but I’m getting the triple threat today. I have felt like shit this whole week with a nasty cold and I can’t even breathe. Then I woke up today and noticed that it looks like I’m getting a cold sore on my mouth. GREAT. Not only do I have a cold, but now I’m getting a herpes outbreak too. Just lovely. A few minutes after that I got yet another lovely reminder about what day it actually was. Shit. I’m getting my period today. It all has to happen at once doesn’t it? My day consisted of snorting Afrin up my nose like it’s freakin cocaine, putting chapstick just underneath my nose because I look like Rudolph who got wind burn, and poppin Midol like it’s candy so I don’t just freak out about the whole situation. Now that’s what I call a bad day!

I Wish I Could Punch the Guy

If you think you have an annoying boss, you should come work with mine for a day. He really bugs the shit out of me. I am to the point now where I can get along with him, but that’s only because I just let his bull shit go in one ear and out the other. He comes off as being one of the most unintelligent people I have ever known. He asks the most dumb questions and yet talks to you like you are the one who doesn’t know anything. The worst thing is that when he knows your starting to get annoyed with him, he eggs you on even more. There are times when I wish I could just punch the guy in the face. You could ask anyone that works at my store, and they would all tell you the same thing. I used to feel bad for the guy because at one point he was going through some pretty tough stuff. But after hearing him complain and whine about nearly everything in his life for the past 2 years, I realized it’s no one’s fault but his own. Oh well, this is my “bitch about my boss” rant for the day...

I Have a Bitch Face?

Apparently I have a bitch face. When I am just chillin and relaxin, my normal resting face appears to be not so delightful to others. My mom recently snapped a picture of me at my nephews birthday party and I look down right pissed off. I was just standing there, enjoying him open up his gifts. Yet, I looked super freakin crabby! Then, at my friends wedding, a few people thought I was crabby. I was getting my makeup done and telling the artist to do whatever she wants. Not because I was annoyed, but because I had faith that she would do a good job. Take note that if I am just standing there, off in my own little world, and it appears to be that I am mad as hell, there’s no need to think I have a major problem. My normal resting face just appears to be not so pleasant as I’d like it to be. This would be something I’d like to work on, but I guess I don’t really care that much.

I Am a Stalker

Photographers beware. If you have a photo blog chances are pretty high that if I find yours, I will be a stalker. I will literally spend hours on the internet searching for photo blogs, and stalking the ones that I really like. By stalk, I mean check their site out on an almost daily basis. So it’s really not a creepy thing, it’s a compliment more than anything. I just love to see other photographer’s work, I get inspiration and ideas. I admit that I probably stalk too much, but it’s clearly an obsession. My fiance will see me on the computer and ask who I am stalking today. That's probably not a good sign. All of them are on my “websites to check out everyday” list. I check them out almost as much as I go on facebook. And everyone knows how much I am addicted to that site. That’s a whole other issue in itself. So, I decided I need to ground myself from the computer. Or from photoblogs. At least for awhile. Outta sight, outta mind right? Well, we’ll see...

That Shit Makes Me Cooky

I felt pretty miserable on Sunday night so I decided to take some Nyquil. I don’t know why people take hard drugs when Nyquil is over the counter. That shit makes me cooky. I didn’t even feel like myself. I was restless with a little bit of dizziness, it’s like I didn’t know where my mind was actually at. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror and said, “Shit. This stuff is strong.” haha I obviously couldn’t ever handle being on the “hard” drugs if I think Nyquil has some badass qualities. It obviously worked it’s magic considering I don‘t really remember much about the evening. The only thing I do remember was that it made me feel loopy. Although it made me feel better, I did not take it for the rest of the duration of my sickness. My everyday normal self does not like to feel like that, but it was nice to live on the wild side, even if it was just for one night. ;)

Whore'n It Up For Halloween?

I’ve been trying to decide what to be for Halloween this year. I kinda want to whore it up a little bit, I guess it’s the one time of year I could get away with it. Plus, I’ve lost almost 20 pounds and look rather good with a minimal amount of clothes on. lol I want to take advantage of my situation I guess. The other day, my fiance and I went out to look at some costumes. I swear all they have out there now for skimpier costumes are either the same old boring ones, or ones that shouldn’t have been made into a skimpier costume in the first place. i.e. A nurse, cop, batman, or spiderman. My dream Halloween costume sure isn’t spiderman, I can tell you that right now. Side note: My fiance might like the spiderman costume idea though, he is rather in love with that character, it’s like his alter ego. Anyways, I couldn’t find anything I liked at all the stores so I asked Jim what he thought I should be. I asked him if he had a fantasy and what he would want me to wear. I got nothing out of him! I told him, “C’mon, it’s my one chance to whore it up for you!” He replies with, “I don’t want you to look like a whore. If I wanted one, I wouldn’t be with you, would I?” He’s pretty sweet. And kinda lame. haha I just want to look sexy for him for one night, but he doesn’t think like a normal guy. And I guess I’m really lucky for that. :)

Is the Superbowl in October?

Some stores sure do over-the-top things to try to bring in more sales. My store in particular decided to go all out with decorations and displays for the upcoming Vikings vs. Packers game. They had me make football chalkboards, and write and decorate the windows on my chef case with football helmets. I even had to go to a party store to get football decorations. I think it's just kinda funny because I don't ever remember going all out for a football game, not even the superbowl. But, if you were to walk into my store, you would definitely think the Vikings were in the superbowl. Don't get me wrong, I love decorating and making signs, and I wish I could do it every day. But, I guess I don't get the correlation between lots of decorations equaling more sales.