Large Ass

I need double stick tape for my underwear. I just bought 3 new pairs from Victoria Secret and apparently their sizing has changed. I have always worn a medium. I know what some of you may be thinking, like Shannon, you have a Shaniqua butt, how the hell can you wear a medium? Well, it's true. They fit pretty perfectly. Until now. Why do they keep creepin up all day? It's like they almost don't cover my cheeks anymore. I mean, I've had just about enough of these underwear issues lately! You would think that after losing 18 pounds, a size medium would be more than big enough to fit my ass. I refuse to buy a large because then I would be a large ass. I know it's just a size, but seriously. Designers need to stick to one sizing system, for forever! I know my butt has shrunk and I blame them for thinking I have a large ass again! Geesh. Maybe I should just stick to thongs, at least they are supposed to be up your butt all day.